Gotta love a literary pun.
verbal abuse & bullying is not ‘freedom of speech’
””“”“why did you cut your hair?::”“”“” i cut my hair to piss you off. specifially you, i was thinking of you when i cut my hair. i was thinking that you, specifically, would be interested in what my newly short hair meant to you, specifically.
I wonder if when writers get a new idea, they think to themselves, “Hey, that’s a novel idea,” and chuckle every time.
mom what do you mean this isnt appropriate fancy dinner wear im wearing a dinosaur shirt that ive owned for ten years and my hair is exactly the way its supposed to be
most of the people who insult smokers have never smoked a cigarette in their life
generally most people that criticise something havent done it because theyre critical of it……………………
ive never smoked but i steer clear of smokers because i have asthma.
ive never done heroine but treat those who do differently because ive lived with someone who died from it, was able to be resuscitated, and still did it.
i criticize these things because ive seen the consequences and dont wish them upon my worst enemy.
do you ever just listen to someone’s problem and you have nothing to say except “I’m sorry” because there is literally no way for you to help and you get sucked into a vortex of guilt and despair because you are useless
today my friends and i were getting sandwiches and wings and tori challenged becca to eat all of her wings so she turned right around and challenged tori to eat her entire sandwich and so of course amanda was like, bitches i can eat all of my wings in my sleep. so becca has a weird mind and asks what we’d think if our future husbands told us that they ate in their sleep so i said “hurray for me,” and at first no one understood until amanda died of laughter, then becca got it, and tori just sat there with her chronic bitch face until she figured it out too and basically my friends forget that im funny because im quiet
For anyone who is wondering the quickest way to my heart is through puns and literature references.
*speaks to Smutty softly, in a sensual but low murmuring whisper. Gently sifting her fleecy, delicate, and springy rouge locks through my steadfast yet quivering hands*
Shh baby, I know. I take your breath away, as you do mine~ Though you’ve taken more than the breath from my lips— you’ve taken my heart, my mind… even my soul.
You’re the the Juliet to my Romeo, the Beatrice to my Dante, the Jocaste to my Oedipus!
Let’s get it on~